Trapped

I think the key part to a trap is that you never see it at all right up to the moment when you try to step out of it. Then it clamps about your ankle and sinks its steel teeth past flesh into bone, and you know the meaning of agony.

I walked into what I thought was a voluntary situation. Now I find I can't pull out. The one person standing in my way won't let me go, allegedly because he cares about me and won't let me make a mistake. And all through this I keep thinking - if this is about me, why do you pull out your dirty tricks, your guilt-trips, your appeals to my sense of justice and your neverending assault on my logic, until I have no choice but to call a retreat before I agree to your terms?

What are you hiding? What egg are you sitting on, that you are afraid to move lest you crack it, even as you doggedly maintain your grip on to me?

Why won't you tell me? I would help you.

When will you stop pretending that you don't understand?

This conflict fills me with weariness. I do want to give in. It is the easy thing to do, here and now.

But as surely as the fox in the snare knows that if he does not fight, he will not see the next sunrise, so do I know that I will have to keep fighting, and fighting, and fighting, until at last I break free. I would rather suffer once now and have it all over with, than suffer for many years to come.

I just wish you would see, exactly how much pain you are putting me through.