I looked myself in the mirror today, and really took a look. As in not "Do I look presentable?" but rather "Oh hey, that's me."
The way I look doesn't match what I am inside. Or maybe it does, but I spend entirely too much time in my own headspace and not enough in the real world. There's a curious dissociation between ME me and the me presented to the world. It's like inner me is an underachieving loser, outer me has a happy and fulfilling life, and the two never meet. Even though they occupy the same body.
I'm always startled when I realise the two are the same, and in fact, that happy and fulfilling life is mine.
I'm not sure I deserve it.
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