Once again, I'm on the threshold of yet another phase in my life. This time, it will be four years (or more) straight, with little to no breaks in between. I'm actually rather looking forward to it. Once a routine has been established, there's no need for breaks, and indeed they can be quite annoying. Also, I will be doing some important work, which I must say does appeal to me.
A few days ago I was walking past a Forever 21 outlet, and I thought to myself, "Oh, hey, I'm the age everyone wants to be." I'm also going to lose that status soon. Can't say I place very much importance on it, other than as a marker of my ever-increasing age.
The other day, I bought what will probably be my last Bionicle set: Tahu. It was a sad moment as I clicked the pieces together, perhaps the last time I will have that joy of seeing a new set come together. But I have to say, I think I picked the perfect set to end my collection with. The Hau is the most iconic of the Kanohi, as well as one of the most beautifully designed. It sent a wave of - something through me, as I held the two masks which came with the set. Something wistful. Something nostalgic. A longing, perhaps, for the old simple days on that beach in Ta-Wahi, the sound of the sea in one's years, the seaweed-draped canister lying quietly in the sand and that anxious blue person in the distance, waving with all her might...
I enjoy looking back a lot, it seems. At the old friends I once had who, through inaction or circumstance, have drifted away, sometimes to the point of no return. At the things I used to do. The things I was proud of once. The things I'm still proud of - a smaller number. The things I once thought were important.
It's strange. I'm still the same inside. I have the same sort of reactions, the same kind of shrinking away, the same type of enthusiasm. The same disdain. The difference lies only in the triggers. Things are the same, only not so.
I can only imagine now, what sort of things I do would endlessly irritate me in the future.
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