A Letter to an Important Person

Hi.

So. Um. I don't quite know where to start. You're really weird and, to be honest, fairly scary. I don't know how you get to be as sneaky as you are, because you are not particularly silent. Somehow you have mastered the art of fading into the background, such that you are completely undetectable until you make yourself known, generally when located behind us just as we start talking about you.

That said, I don't fear you. No, I don't care what she says. She doesn't know a quarter of what she thinks she does. I'm not convinced that you would hurt me, on purpose or otherwise, and therefore I'm not afraid of you, personally. What I do have for you is intense respect, for the strange balance of razor-sharp intelligence, authority, and gentleness, that is your personality. Inconveniencing you in any way is the last think I want to do. Therefore I stay out of your way, because I don't quite know what to do to avoid offending or annoying you. You're such a closed book, I can't judge what you prefer and what you hate. It's just been easier to avoid you altogether and therefore avoid the question of how to actually interact with you.

This wasn't right. I'm sorry. It was not until today that I realised I've been as much a closed book to you as you have been to me - that where I thought you were stoic and reserved, you were actually shy and unsure. I thought you didn't want to talk to me, but in reality you didn't know how. I didn't mean to ignore you. I just thought it simply didn't matter to you.

I won't let that happen again. I promise I'll make an effort to get to know you better. I'll share my silly little adventures with you even if I think you won't be interested, just to let you know how I'm going. I'll treat you as a person and not an obligation. I'll stop worrying about how anything I might say or do would result in a backlash from you. I'll stop being so selfish. Because I realise that's what I've been all along. I've been so careful to avoid annoying you because, ultimately, I didn't want to have to face any kind of negative consequences. I've been acting as if I've been thinking about you when, in fact, it's all been about me. And with my cowardice I've been hurting you.

You are important to me, you know. Your opinion, your insights, the things you say which I don't want to hear. And because you matter, I'm going to start putting you ahead of my need to maintain an image. I think you deserve that much, even if it is a poor return for everything you've done for me.

Thanks, and cheers.