So... Wow! It's been a really long time!
Looking back at my old posts... Wow, I was so unhappy. I was struggling with so many things. But in spite of that, I managed to create so much beauty. So much prose, so many lovely photographs, carefully-written recipes borne of hours spent experimenting in the kitchen. I'm...really proud of myself. I created so many amazing things. I deserved to be loved, even in those days when I thought otherwise. And now I can see, very clearly, that my isolation wasn't my fault at all.
I'm still a creator. My soul is still desperate to speak, and so I continue to draw, and write, and craft things with my hands. I bit the bullet and created an AO3 account, and now have multiple published works - with comments! Bookmarks! People like my stories! I somehow ended up in charge of a club at work (a club! Me!), and publish the monthly newsletter - which also gets likes! From upper management, even! I still bake and cook, and bring things in to share at the office, and people like them. My boss likes them! She goes early to get them from the office fridge because otherwise they'll be wiped by lunchtime. I made a hand-painted gift for the annual Christmas exchange, wielding brushes and paints for the first time in years, and the recipient genuinely loved it!
These days, I actually have validation. I'm loved and appreciated for what I do. It's... Well, it's really all I ever wanted, and now it's just so easy.
To my past self... You struggled so hard so that I could get here. You pushed through pain and loneliness and betrayal, over and over. Thank you, truly. I will always love you very much.
