Failure is pretty common in scientific research, I'd say. Considering how deeply we work with the unknown, it stands to reason that our initial assumptions, and therefore the expected outcomes, will run contrary to the actual reality. It's completely logical.
It doesn't stop the hurt when things go wrong. Certainly it mitigates nothing when you're working on four things at once and all of them fail simultaneously.
All this hard work for poor returns is taking its toll. The deadliest part is that I can feel myself spiralling into insanity and self-destruction. A large part of me doesn't particularly care.
The other part isn't going down without a fight.
Letting go is a coward's option, it says.
But it's hard when it's also the easy option.
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